|
Psychology is NOT Y2K compliant [ The Happy Hour Archive | obereed.net ] Word is Steve Pinker has come up with a a new version, Psychology 1.1, that fixes the problem. ========================================================================= Blue-Ribbon Commission Warning: Psychology Not Y2K Compliant Washington (AP)--Thursday A congressionally-appointed council of top scientists and policy-makers concluded today that psychology will be in tough shape when the new year rolls around next January 1st. It was concluded that not only are many of its theories firmly rooted in the 20th century, but psychology as we know it may come to an end at the beginning of the new millenium. Psychology may even be forced to revert to the theories and methodology of the early 20th century. "On a Likert-type scale from 1 to 7, Y2K-readiness-wise, I give psychology a negative 2." Those were the words of Sara Purcell, the committee's chairperson. "When the rollover happens, we suspect that psychology will revert to the nascent state it was in at the last turn of the century." "This threatens to set psychology back 100 years, and I don't like it." stated veteran educational psychologist Bill McKeachie. "I'm going to have to dig out my memory drum and my introspection manual." Noam Chomsky, activist and founder of modern psycholinguistics, commented, "I killed behaviorism once, and now they tell me it'll be back in another 20 years. What's next--is associationism back too?" Many cognitive scientists were actually enthusiastic about repeating the 20th century, this time with 21st century technology. Sources tell us that the NSF has started receiving grant applications with titles like, "Localizing the IT in left parietal cortex" and "The role of the superego in limbic system functioning". The superego and the it were constructs of Sigmund Freud's turn-of-the-century psychodynamic theory. Budding psychologist Shana Pallotta is also excited. She stated, "The 20th century of psychology needs a little cleaning up, and in a very Wundtian manner. In fact, I plan on introducing a concept called 'Factor X' which will really set the world of memory on its ear. Some think this is a sign of the end. I think it is a great opportunity for science." Whether it should be considered a rebirth or a post-modern apocalypse, the events are ominous. Already, signs of early 20th century psychology are starting to show up across America. For instance, horse enthusiast and alcohol researcher Jennifer Glass is training a horse named 'Clever Hans' to understand english. Neuroimaging studies have started to apply a 19th century technique known as "The Subtractive Method" to analyze their data. A young graduate student named Dan Horn has decided to change his name to Titchener. University of Pennsylvania neuroscientist Martha Farah is reportedly offering a graduate seminar on phrenology. Are these signs of the end of modern psychology? Only time will tell. |