How To Interact Socially: A Geek's Guide

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I've been thinking that the reason some of you don't come to Happy Hour (we
know who you are), is because you may have some trouble interacting with
people.  Unfortunately, scientists have a well deserved reputation for
being, shall we say, socially retarded.  Well, I've decided to share some
of my social wisdom to help you interact with others.  You can use Happy
Hour (or Shane's party) to practice.


How To Interact Socially:  A Geek's Guide

DO:     Ask other people how they are doing.
DON'T:  Reply to such a question in grotesque detail.

DO:     Talk about vacation areas.
DON'T:  Talk about Broadmann's areas.

DO:     Act interested in what other people have to say.
DON'T:  Force people to take out restraining orders on you.

DO:     Laugh at other people's jokes.
DON'T:  Snort.

DO:     Tell clever jokes.
DON'T:  Tell the one about the nun and the goat.

DO:     Avoid talking with your mouth full.
DON'T:  Spit the food into your hand before speaking.

DO:     Bring beer to a party.
DON'T:  Bring a "5-pack."

DO:     Bring flowers when visiting people.
DON'T:  Pick the flowers from their garden.

DO:     Flirt.
DON'T:  Lick.

DO:     Quote famous people.
DON'T:  Quote yourself.

DO:     Offer to help clean up.
DON'T:  Do so by stealing silverware.

DO:     Thank the host or hostess of a party.
DON'T:  Get real drunk, stand up on a table and proceed to 
        insult each guest. (Believe me, it never works.  I 
        should know).

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